TalulaZoeApple

My How Time Flys When Your Single

I will NOT disclose my age but as a point of reference I saw Waiting To Exhale in high school. I remember thinking to myself, "God don't let me end up like these women - 30, single and desperate."

Fast forward to now, I am watching Let's Talk About Pep, I am thinking, "God' don't let me end up like these women - late 30s, single, and desperate." lol

Where has the time gone? Who told me that I had to reach my goals before finding love? Where did I learn to be so afraid to take a chance?

Ugh. Have I become one of THOSE women?

NOT YET.

I tell you if one more birthday passes in singledom, I am joining a convent.

It would be just my luck to take my vow of celibacy and then meet the man of my dreams while helping orphans in Haiti.

*sidenote* I am not a nun but I do feel I have taken a vow of celibacy. lol

Remember I wrote about making the wrong choice between two guys and I made the wrong choice. Well, the guy I did not choose has resurfaced. I am stuck wondering is this a sign or wishful thinking?

*sidenote #2* I am falling behind on my resolution to get out more. I did attend a networking event last week but that's not the same as being social. IMO

Proclamation: This is the year I fall in love!

Life Imitating Art Imitating Life? - YaVaughnie Wilkins

Women when will we learn, unless you are rich and famous singer, a jump-off will never replace the wife.

Clearly, the lovely YaVaughnie- yes you read that correctly - did not get that memo. She took a cue from the Girlfriend's episode "The Importance of Being Frank," in order to get revenge on her former long-term MARRIED boyfriend.

If you recall during the Girlfriends episode, which aired back in 2000, Joan is dating a married man unknowingly. The married wife goes berserk, but in the end decides to get her revenge in a very public way. She buys a billboard across from her husband's office with his face on a dog's body.

Well, YaVaughnie Wilkins, was not taking no lying down. She put up a billboard in Times Square AND setup a website with all of the their romantic pics over the years. WOW.

I know she probably bought the billboard out of anger and hurt but come on, son! You know the game, if you decide to play. No man with anything to lose EVER leaves his wife for the other woman. IT'S CHEAPER TO KEEP HER as Johnnie Taylor would say.

I hate to tell this just makes her appear scorned and loopy.

P.S. I tried to check out the website http://www.charlesphillipsandyavaughniewilkins.com/ but it has been removed. LOL. DON't JUDGE ME!!!!

Who Really Cares Who Reggie Bush is Dating?

Apparently, there is some outrage among black women that Reggie Bush, who is famously dating Kim Kardashian, is on the Essence cover entitled Black Men, Love and Relationship Issue. The comments are off the chain!

The problem?

These sisters are screaming bloody murder because Reggie Bush is not (at least not currently) dating a black woman.

Who really cares who Reggie Bush is dating?

• The only things I know about Reggie Bush is that he is a football player AND he is dating Kim Kardashian. PERIOD!
• I am not a football fan so I did not know who Reggie Bush was until he started dating Kim Kardashian.
• If he was not dating Kim Kardashian but was Tiger Wood'ing (pun intended) a bunch of black women would that be okay?
• Seriously, he's not even that hot.
• There was an earthqauke in Haiti that affects millions, are we really THAT concerned over a football player and his girlfriend.
• It's 2010!! Get over it!

Am I trippin' for thinkinh this is much ado about nothing?

Black Women Being Unmarried is Now National News

Thank you, ABC News! **insert sarcasm**

 

 

Steve Harvey says date older men. Ha, I wonder why?

I would consider older, like 40, ONLY if he did NOT sport the 'stache. Stevie, baby, only Magnum P.I. can get away with the 'stache!

What Exactly Is Settling? A Few Necessities

I guess this a relationship post.

In this eternal pursuit of the right mate, what qualities are; a necessity, a want, and an if you don't mind i'll take a little of that too? LOL

Letoya Luckett has a song, "Good to Me," on her new CD. I LOVE THIS SONG!

However; there is a verse that goes something like:

I want me a man
You know the kind of man
That don’t mind cooking me dinner

I want me a man
You know the kind of man
That all night in bed he’s a winner

I want me a man
You know the kind of man
That gotta body like a gladiator

Cuz I want me a man, a real kinda man
And he ain’t gotta have alotta paper SOURCE

Soooooo? Which one of these items is a necessity, a want, and an if you don't mind i'll take a little of that too?

I was speaking with a friend last night who told me she admired me for not settling? I thought about that.

I dated a guy a few years back who, right out of the gate, was talking marriage. He was a cool dude but I had ZERO chemistry with him. I kept dating him thinking, well, he's a good guy, he is a god-fearing man, and he WANTS to get married. I was literally FORCING myself to like him. Then one day, I was discussing him with my mother and she bluntly stated, "if you don't like him, don't date him."

It was my, "Duh, stupid!" moment. LOL

My mom is from the old school where church folk had to approve your mates. That's how she ended up with my father. Needless to say she was not into that everybody says he's a good man so do it and ignore your heart meme.

But to answer my own question. I don't care about the body like a gladiator BUT the others. . .if you don't mind i'll take a little of that, too. LOL

How about you?

Things That Make Me Wish I Had A Man

I am a happy single girl. Really, I am. . . BUT there are certain situations in life that make me see the benefits in being married or at least booed up.

Consider today.

I left my phone at home. I was not sure if I had lost it so when I noticed it was gone, I went to the parking lot to look through my car. Well, apparently, I left the light on because when I tried to start it to go home. . .NOTHING!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The guy who I work with gave me a jump from one of the company owned vehicles. He was so helpful and knowledgeable that I had a  I wish I had a man moment. LOL

I went to visit a friend who is recovering from surgery. She is a newlywed. Her husband was there sitting on the floor staring up at her while I was there and I had it again - that darn, I wish I had a man,  moment.

So folks here is my list of times when single just ain't that fun:

1. Times when I am broke and something needs to be fixed.
2. Car trouble.
3. It's cold and the garbage needs to taken out.
4. Every month when I pay rent and bills.
5. Times when I hear about an event friends (married) have attended but have conveniently NOT told me about. Then everyone has the look of,  Oh, crap why did I just say we did that and she didn't go.
6. When friends suggest that you sign-up to online dating sites - THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!!
7. I have something really interesting happen, I get home and there is no one to tell.
8. I have 3 people in less than one month announce their engagements - THIS REALLY HAPPENED, TOO!!
9. I read facebook and realize I am the only childless, husband-less friend on my list. Almost.
10. When I am up writing blog posts instead of snuggling with the one I love.

What is your list? Leave in the comments.

Facebook Will Put All of Your Business Out . . .

in the speed of the internet.

A friend posted a question concerning an "anonymous" person but she gave some details that anyone who has seen this girl can probably figure out who she is speaking of.

Ok. So she poses the question, why do women over 30 do ANYTHING to get and keep a man. She then goes on to explain how this woman has been sleeping with a dude with a live in girlfriend of six years. He has given her twp STDs and made her have an abortion. He only sees her twice in the week for maybe 4 hrs. (Here's the kicker) The girl has a physical deformity. Her hands are malformed.

OK. You have just identified this person. LOL

This is why I blog. Most people on FB don't know my blog exists. I go through great pains to keep my situations as abstract as possible. (As to protect the innocent, and not so innocent. LOL)

I just wrote that this girl needs prayer and maybe professional counseling. Strongholds exists. Some may call them addictions. You can be addicted to food, drugs, drama, and even people.

I know for a fact prayer, seeking God, and fasting can break any stronghold. Sometimes you need professional help as well.

Who hasn't been a fool for love? As Lisa Fischer sang, "A fool for love, is a fool for pain and I refuse to love you again."

Your thoughts?

Mashonda VS Alicia Keys

If you haven't heard, Alicia Keys is in love. . .with another woman's husband. (Allegedly)

Let me fill you in. This goofy looking producer Swizz Beats was married to Mashonda. They recently had a son together. In comes, AK playing the piano all over his heart and leaving Mashonda and baby Swizz in the cold.

Well, Mashonda did not let sleeping dogs lie. She wrote an open letter to Alicia Keys and posted it on Twitter(the extended version):

On Saturday 26th September 2009, @MashondaLoyal said: reply After having a great evening with my son and enjoying some fun twit chat, I decided to sign off and get some work done. However, a few hours later I was advised that I should check @aliciakeys twit page. I've never reached out to her on twitter before. I feel our issues are a lot more serious than a website conversation. Not to mention that I've reached out to her many times in the beginning of this whole thing, as any wife would do. Unfortunately, I never succeeded in getting a response. The 1st time I meet AK, my husband introduced us to each other at an event. ( I have no choice but to call him my husband, until he is not anymore) In the messages that I sent to her (AK), I made it very clear that on the contrary of what she might be hearing, I am still married to my husband, living with him and just had a child. Its been two years and I still have not received a response. What I do receive, is constant displays of selfishness and disconcern to me and my son

When I first heard this info, I did not want to believe it. I was just starting to like Key's music. I bought her "I Am" cd. I thought, wow, another conscious sister with pipes . . .just like. . .Lauryn Hill.

Just like Lauryn Hill, it appears Alicia Keys has "Fallin'" (pun intended) for another woman's man.

I DON'T GET IT.

On the outside these women seem to have it all - talent, beauty, success. You would think this would qualify them to get a man of their own. Why, oh why would you wanna share a guy? 'Cause you know they both were sharing him for a period of time. Guys don't always bathe regularly (or floss) so they may have been really sharing him. LOL

Karma is a female dog. We see how well it turned out for Lauryn Hill.

Kloe Kardashian To Marry No Pre-Nup? Amber Rose Step Your Game Up

I have a soft spot in my heart for gold diggers. Why? It ain't tricking if you got it. LOL

According to headlines, Kloe Kardashian is set to marry NBA star Lamar Odom

in two weeks. I have read some not so nice comments by women who can't understand why a brother would marry a Kardashian (no-prenup) and a sister can't get a light bill paid without being labeled a gold-digger. Well, it's not all about race. Compare this to sister Kim who dated Reggie Bush for a few years without a ring on it.

Some suggested she must be doing nasty tricks for him to want to be with her. I say this is stupid logic. He is an NBA player with a 4-year 33 million dollar contract, groupies will do all kind of tricks for rent and a go-cart. LOL

I think a guy can become intrigued with someone who has personality, confidence and something going on for themselves. Or maybe it's just a publicity stunt. Whatever the reason, much love and blessings to them.

What's her secret? I don't know but it must be one heck of a trick, no pre-nup?

Next up is Amber Rose. Unfortunately she is dating Kanye West. Sure he is rich and famous but who wants to date a gay fish. BTW, I have no idea what a gay fish is but that's what they are calling him on Twitter.

Amber is famous for . . .nothing, well dating Kanye. She has reportedly inked a modeling contract out of it.

Women hate on her, too. I am not sure why. Kanye is grown and knows what's up. Amber is ..um, I'll say, enterprising. A modeling contract is not exactly, "no pre-nup" level but, hey, at least you can be self-sufficient.

Bravissimo, chicas!

My Top Ten (Irrational) Fears About Dating Men

I have written on Talulazoeapple about fears before, I think. I have also been attempting to overcome most of my (irrational) ones.

I still have left to conquer my fear of dating. It's not like I am cowering in a corner at the thought of it. I just allow my doubts to keep me from trying to connect with someone.

I could just blame all of this on my mother. Parents are easy scapegoats, but it's me.

I figured like most things in life, if I write it down, visualizing my fears I can conquer them.

Here goes:

10. Men are dogs - You have heard this one many a time. I don't think all men are dogs but most have a propensity toward canine behavior. LIL To deal, you need a trainer's license and a rabies shot.

9. Men lie - Truth be told everyone lies in a little. I may wear a padded bra . . .or not, whose asking?To date one must be willing to play a little I Spy from time to time.

8. At my age, all of the good ones are taken - I know this cannot be true, after all there are 5.7 billion people on earth. Surely there has to be one heterosexual, disease-free, educated, professional with no baby momma's or mental illnesses man with all of his teeth. Just one is all I need.

7. Marriage is passe - With Oprah leading the pack of professional women who have these "spiritual unions" (followed by Halle Berry), many are negating the importance of holy matrimony. I would just like to tell all these women, keep it real. Ya'll are way richer than your boyfriends and wanna keep that money right. LOL You ain't fooling me!

6. Every unmarried man over thirty is on the down-low - Lord why did Oprah do that show on down-low brothers. I swear, I think every guy, I mean every guy I meet has a secret. **in Wendy Williams voice** How you doin'?  Irrational? IDK. Watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta has refueled this particular one. Lord, help me to overcome. LOL

5. Once married men turn into control freaks - I know many a married man who wants to tell their wife when and where she can breathe. . .and they do it. Um. . .no. I am an easy going girl, I need an easy going guy. I will allow a man to be a man, just allow me to be. . .free.

4. I may change my mind - I know this is the craziest one but I have track record of losing interest in things and marriage is forever. Forever, ever? I had a cat once and the thing was soo smelly, I kicked it out of the house. It wandered into the parking lot and got hit by car. Can you see where I am going with this?

3. All men want is sex, sex, and more sex - This can't fly. I am a Christian that actually practices celibacy - for really, real. I always fear that a guy won't be interested in relationship where there is no nookie. I am not sure if this one is rational or irrational.

2. A man is supposed to find me - Lord, the perils of COGIC upbringing.  Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord Proverbs 18:22. This scripture was always recited as an admonishment not to look for a man. You are supposed to let a man find you. This presents quite a conundrum for the single girl.

1. I am meant to be alone - When I was a little girl, I wanted to become a nun. No, really, I did but I was not Catholic. I thought I would dedicate my life to serving God and remain a virgin for life. Well that one did not pan out. Sometimes I think God (who according to my COGIC upbringing is a jealous God) wants me for Himself. I mean, really, who can compare to the Almighty. Or maybe it's like any father, He wants only the best for me. No ordinary, jack leg (my momma's phrase) will do. Maybe I am not meant to be alone but I meant to wait on God.

WOW. . .EPIPHANY!