TalulaZoeApple

Seven Annoying Habits I Have Being Single

There is a certain freedom that come with being single. A freedom that is threatened with the introduction of a significant other in your life. When I seriously think about being married, I realize I would have to give up certain freedoms that another person might find rather annoying.

Like:

1. Wearing Granny Panties - I know, TMI, but they are sooo comfortable. This one goes hand-in-hand with - Matching Panties and Bra.

2. Farting - *blushing* I fart, ok. Usually, at night but, hey, it is just me. #Freedom
3. Eating Raw Garlic - I love garlic but usually shy away from it in social settings. At home alone, I eat it on salads raw. It is good for the heart, right?
4. My Hair Is Everywhere - Maybe I need to trim my ends but my hair seems to be everywhere. I just just leave where it lands until clean up day.
5. I Sing A Lot - This was way annoying to my sister but she's a hater. lol
6. I Hate Shaving - If I were a lesbian, I would be the hairiest lesbian you'd ever meet. I would not shave, wax, pluck or thread a darn thing on my body. I abhor it BUT I do it because it makes me look presentable, like a LADY.
7. I Don't Cook - I am seriously considering taking a culinary class when I graduate. I hear a way to man's heart is his stomach and I need a paved road.

What are some of your annoying habits? If you are married, what are some of your spouses annoying habits that you put up with?

 

Here's to Keeping Keeping Promises. . .

. . .to myself.

I made a couple of resolutions this year. Those were my main, public goals. To myself, I promised to get out more. More specifically, to go to a social event 2 times a month.

I went to a Jazz cafe for my birthday and a networking dinner for a professional group I belong to. At this dinner, I met a nice young man who had just completed his MBA. I felt confident and cute. I was flirtatious and witty, even if I must say so myself! lol

I don't know where this confidence came from but I am loving it. At the end of the dinner, the guy shook my hand and gave me his card. I gave him mine. He has not called yet but that is beside the point. The point is I got out and was sociable and . . .fearless.

Secondly, I promised the Lord, if he blessed me with a job (and He did) I would volunteer. I wanted to use the talents God has given me to give back.

Well, I have an audition coming up for a group that records reading material for the blind. I really would like to do this. Just to show how God is always working things out, I'll tell this little story.

I get to the reading center, the volunteer coordinator is giving me a tour of the facilities. I see the name of a friend's husband's friend's wife. You follow?

I helped this loose contact a couple of months ago with a clothing swap fundraiser for her playhouse. I had NO idea she was the book coordinator for the reading for the blind facility. She has worked with them for 23 years!!!

Hopefully, this is where God wants me to be.

Also, my goal is to be faithful at the house of God. I think I know what church to go to now.

Where are you on resolutions?

Stay prayerful guys.

Life Imitating Art Imitating Life? - YaVaughnie Wilkins

Women when will we learn, unless you are rich and famous singer, a jump-off will never replace the wife.

Clearly, the lovely YaVaughnie- yes you read that correctly - did not get that memo. She took a cue from the Girlfriend's episode "The Importance of Being Frank," in order to get revenge on her former long-term MARRIED boyfriend.

If you recall during the Girlfriends episode, which aired back in 2000, Joan is dating a married man unknowingly. The married wife goes berserk, but in the end decides to get her revenge in a very public way. She buys a billboard across from her husband's office with his face on a dog's body.

Well, YaVaughnie Wilkins, was not taking no lying down. She put up a billboard in Times Square AND setup a website with all of the their romantic pics over the years. WOW.

I know she probably bought the billboard out of anger and hurt but come on, son! You know the game, if you decide to play. No man with anything to lose EVER leaves his wife for the other woman. IT'S CHEAPER TO KEEP HER as Johnnie Taylor would say.

I hate to tell this just makes her appear scorned and loopy.

P.S. I tried to check out the website http://www.charlesphillipsandyavaughniewilkins.com/ but it has been removed. LOL. DON't JUDGE ME!!!!

Black Women Being Unmarried is Now National News

Thank you, ABC News! **insert sarcasm**

 

 

Steve Harvey says date older men. Ha, I wonder why?

I would consider older, like 40, ONLY if he did NOT sport the 'stache. Stevie, baby, only Magnum P.I. can get away with the 'stache!

What Exactly Is Settling? A Few Necessities

I guess this a relationship post.

In this eternal pursuit of the right mate, what qualities are; a necessity, a want, and an if you don't mind i'll take a little of that too? LOL

Letoya Luckett has a song, "Good to Me," on her new CD. I LOVE THIS SONG!

However; there is a verse that goes something like:

I want me a man
You know the kind of man
That don’t mind cooking me dinner

I want me a man
You know the kind of man
That all night in bed he’s a winner

I want me a man
You know the kind of man
That gotta body like a gladiator

Cuz I want me a man, a real kinda man
And he ain’t gotta have alotta paper SOURCE

Soooooo? Which one of these items is a necessity, a want, and an if you don't mind i'll take a little of that too?

I was speaking with a friend last night who told me she admired me for not settling? I thought about that.

I dated a guy a few years back who, right out of the gate, was talking marriage. He was a cool dude but I had ZERO chemistry with him. I kept dating him thinking, well, he's a good guy, he is a god-fearing man, and he WANTS to get married. I was literally FORCING myself to like him. Then one day, I was discussing him with my mother and she bluntly stated, "if you don't like him, don't date him."

It was my, "Duh, stupid!" moment. LOL

My mom is from the old school where church folk had to approve your mates. That's how she ended up with my father. Needless to say she was not into that everybody says he's a good man so do it and ignore your heart meme.

But to answer my own question. I don't care about the body like a gladiator BUT the others. . .if you don't mind i'll take a little of that, too. LOL

How about you?

Things That Make Me Wish I Had A Man

I am a happy single girl. Really, I am. . . BUT there are certain situations in life that make me see the benefits in being married or at least booed up.

Consider today.

I left my phone at home. I was not sure if I had lost it so when I noticed it was gone, I went to the parking lot to look through my car. Well, apparently, I left the light on because when I tried to start it to go home. . .NOTHING!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The guy who I work with gave me a jump from one of the company owned vehicles. He was so helpful and knowledgeable that I had a  I wish I had a man moment. LOL

I went to visit a friend who is recovering from surgery. She is a newlywed. Her husband was there sitting on the floor staring up at her while I was there and I had it again - that darn, I wish I had a man,  moment.

So folks here is my list of times when single just ain't that fun:

1. Times when I am broke and something needs to be fixed.
2. Car trouble.
3. It's cold and the garbage needs to taken out.
4. Every month when I pay rent and bills.
5. Times when I hear about an event friends (married) have attended but have conveniently NOT told me about. Then everyone has the look of,  Oh, crap why did I just say we did that and she didn't go.
6. When friends suggest that you sign-up to online dating sites - THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!!
7. I have something really interesting happen, I get home and there is no one to tell.
8. I have 3 people in less than one month announce their engagements - THIS REALLY HAPPENED, TOO!!
9. I read facebook and realize I am the only childless, husband-less friend on my list. Almost.
10. When I am up writing blog posts instead of snuggling with the one I love.

What is your list? Leave in the comments.

Mashonda VS Alicia Keys

If you haven't heard, Alicia Keys is in love. . .with another woman's husband. (Allegedly)

Let me fill you in. This goofy looking producer Swizz Beats was married to Mashonda. They recently had a son together. In comes, AK playing the piano all over his heart and leaving Mashonda and baby Swizz in the cold.

Well, Mashonda did not let sleeping dogs lie. She wrote an open letter to Alicia Keys and posted it on Twitter(the extended version):

On Saturday 26th September 2009, @MashondaLoyal said: reply After having a great evening with my son and enjoying some fun twit chat, I decided to sign off and get some work done. However, a few hours later I was advised that I should check @aliciakeys twit page. I've never reached out to her on twitter before. I feel our issues are a lot more serious than a website conversation. Not to mention that I've reached out to her many times in the beginning of this whole thing, as any wife would do. Unfortunately, I never succeeded in getting a response. The 1st time I meet AK, my husband introduced us to each other at an event. ( I have no choice but to call him my husband, until he is not anymore) In the messages that I sent to her (AK), I made it very clear that on the contrary of what she might be hearing, I am still married to my husband, living with him and just had a child. Its been two years and I still have not received a response. What I do receive, is constant displays of selfishness and disconcern to me and my son

When I first heard this info, I did not want to believe it. I was just starting to like Key's music. I bought her "I Am" cd. I thought, wow, another conscious sister with pipes . . .just like. . .Lauryn Hill.

Just like Lauryn Hill, it appears Alicia Keys has "Fallin'" (pun intended) for another woman's man.

I DON'T GET IT.

On the outside these women seem to have it all - talent, beauty, success. You would think this would qualify them to get a man of their own. Why, oh why would you wanna share a guy? 'Cause you know they both were sharing him for a period of time. Guys don't always bathe regularly (or floss) so they may have been really sharing him. LOL

Karma is a female dog. We see how well it turned out for Lauryn Hill.

Kloe Kardashian To Marry No Pre-Nup? Amber Rose Step Your Game Up

I have a soft spot in my heart for gold diggers. Why? It ain't tricking if you got it. LOL

According to headlines, Kloe Kardashian is set to marry NBA star Lamar Odom

in two weeks. I have read some not so nice comments by women who can't understand why a brother would marry a Kardashian (no-prenup) and a sister can't get a light bill paid without being labeled a gold-digger. Well, it's not all about race. Compare this to sister Kim who dated Reggie Bush for a few years without a ring on it.

Some suggested she must be doing nasty tricks for him to want to be with her. I say this is stupid logic. He is an NBA player with a 4-year 33 million dollar contract, groupies will do all kind of tricks for rent and a go-cart. LOL

I think a guy can become intrigued with someone who has personality, confidence and something going on for themselves. Or maybe it's just a publicity stunt. Whatever the reason, much love and blessings to them.

What's her secret? I don't know but it must be one heck of a trick, no pre-nup?

Next up is Amber Rose. Unfortunately she is dating Kanye West. Sure he is rich and famous but who wants to date a gay fish. BTW, I have no idea what a gay fish is but that's what they are calling him on Twitter.

Amber is famous for . . .nothing, well dating Kanye. She has reportedly inked a modeling contract out of it.

Women hate on her, too. I am not sure why. Kanye is grown and knows what's up. Amber is ..um, I'll say, enterprising. A modeling contract is not exactly, "no pre-nup" level but, hey, at least you can be self-sufficient.

Bravissimo, chicas!

My Top Ten (Irrational) Fears About Dating Men

I have written on Talulazoeapple about fears before, I think. I have also been attempting to overcome most of my (irrational) ones.

I still have left to conquer my fear of dating. It's not like I am cowering in a corner at the thought of it. I just allow my doubts to keep me from trying to connect with someone.

I could just blame all of this on my mother. Parents are easy scapegoats, but it's me.

I figured like most things in life, if I write it down, visualizing my fears I can conquer them.

Here goes:

10. Men are dogs - You have heard this one many a time. I don't think all men are dogs but most have a propensity toward canine behavior. LIL To deal, you need a trainer's license and a rabies shot.

9. Men lie - Truth be told everyone lies in a little. I may wear a padded bra . . .or not, whose asking?To date one must be willing to play a little I Spy from time to time.

8. At my age, all of the good ones are taken - I know this cannot be true, after all there are 5.7 billion people on earth. Surely there has to be one heterosexual, disease-free, educated, professional with no baby momma's or mental illnesses man with all of his teeth. Just one is all I need.

7. Marriage is passe - With Oprah leading the pack of professional women who have these "spiritual unions" (followed by Halle Berry), many are negating the importance of holy matrimony. I would just like to tell all these women, keep it real. Ya'll are way richer than your boyfriends and wanna keep that money right. LOL You ain't fooling me!

6. Every unmarried man over thirty is on the down-low - Lord why did Oprah do that show on down-low brothers. I swear, I think every guy, I mean every guy I meet has a secret. **in Wendy Williams voice** How you doin'?  Irrational? IDK. Watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta has refueled this particular one. Lord, help me to overcome. LOL

5. Once married men turn into control freaks - I know many a married man who wants to tell their wife when and where she can breathe. . .and they do it. Um. . .no. I am an easy going girl, I need an easy going guy. I will allow a man to be a man, just allow me to be. . .free.

4. I may change my mind - I know this is the craziest one but I have track record of losing interest in things and marriage is forever. Forever, ever? I had a cat once and the thing was soo smelly, I kicked it out of the house. It wandered into the parking lot and got hit by car. Can you see where I am going with this?

3. All men want is sex, sex, and more sex - This can't fly. I am a Christian that actually practices celibacy - for really, real. I always fear that a guy won't be interested in relationship where there is no nookie. I am not sure if this one is rational or irrational.

2. A man is supposed to find me - Lord, the perils of COGIC upbringing.  Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord Proverbs 18:22. This scripture was always recited as an admonishment not to look for a man. You are supposed to let a man find you. This presents quite a conundrum for the single girl.

1. I am meant to be alone - When I was a little girl, I wanted to become a nun. No, really, I did but I was not Catholic. I thought I would dedicate my life to serving God and remain a virgin for life. Well that one did not pan out. Sometimes I think God (who according to my COGIC upbringing is a jealous God) wants me for Himself. I mean, really, who can compare to the Almighty. Or maybe it's like any father, He wants only the best for me. No ordinary, jack leg (my momma's phrase) will do. Maybe I am not meant to be alone but I meant to wait on God.

WOW. . .EPIPHANY!

Is RHOA Sheree Whitfield Suffering From Depression?

I always search for the logic in everything? I was a ban in the side of my math teachers in grammar school. I did not want to know just how to find the answer but what was the logic behind the equation. What can I tell you, I went to public school.

Anyhoo, back to the point og the post. I love watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta. These chicas are OTT. . .and I love it.

However, I was really disappointed in their appearance of Ellen. The ladies took what could have been a transformational moment and made complete butts of themselves. . .at least Kim and Sheree did.

A little background, Kim and Sheree had a really public fight in which Sheree tugged on Kim's wig. I guess this was Kim's way of getting back at her by telling the world she bounces checks on Ellen.

And Sheree flips the heck out! LOL

I should not laugh but if something is not true, why argue?

I could not help thinking that all of that yelling and cursing Sheree does is a symptom of her very public and humiliating divorce. I mean your famous husband stops paying your mortgage and you get evicted. You are accused of bouncing checks, your clothing line is tanking. I think I would be a tad bit angry too.

So depression, is that logical reason for such raucous behavior.