TalulaZoeApple

Failing the Test and Learning A Lesson

I allow things to really aggravate me to the point of knocking me off task sometimes. This is a problem.

I was over at Full Complexity's blog and read her post about something really similar. We must be living parallel lives. God led us to each other's blog for encouragement.

I drove through traffic and in circles to make it to this important event downtown only to realize the event did not have parking. I would have to pay and I had no cash on me. I would have to drive at least 15 minutes out of the way to find a cash station. All of this happened after having a really tough/disappointing day at work.

All I needed to do was bite the bullet, say a prayer, and drive to the cash station and make my way back. I, however, became overwhelmed with all the things I had been going thru and thought this is just one more thing that has not worked out for me.

I started to cry. . .really. I thought, God, why do things like this happen to me, why am I disappointed so much?

 And then it came to me, like an epiphany - no Chrisette Michele - that it was only a test. The enemy tries to throw little roadblocks in our way to keep us off task. In the grand scheme of things, this was only a minor setback but I allowed myself to connect it to other minor setbacks to create a giant snowball of setbacks to cry over.

The event was so informative and I got to do something I always wanted to do.

I believe God is showing me through it all to just trust him. He knows my end from the beginning. The setbacks are just a test of my faith. Do I really believe the ending of the story leads back to HIM?

I do!

Good News From Here On Out

. . .until I need to vent again. lol

My mom is getting married. Yeah, mom. Once we had this conversation, in which I told her I want you to marry before I do so that I know you are okay. She says, no I want you to marry before I do so that I know you are okay.

Haha mom, I WIN!!! LOLOLOLOLOL

...........

Cute deliver guy just keeps coming around flirting as usual with no phone call. I avoided him a few days, just to not be so available I guess. Maybe he is just not that into me. . . MUST.MOVE.ON.

JUST KIDDING. LOLOLOL

.............

Why did "The Kid" look really cute in training today? Maybe because the new girl was sitting next to him. I have this thing where I don't really want a guy until I see that someone else is interested in him. Weird.

............

I am in such a better mood than I was last week. Lets keep it going and laissez les bon temps rouler.

The Odds and Ends Post

I have discovered something about myself. I am greedy. Not in the sense of food or selfishly hording something but when I have something good, I want it all the time until I grow tired of it.

This is true in so many areas. If I go out and have a great time. I want to always go to the same place, have the same great time until the time isn't great anymore.

If I could learn to be patient and accept a slower pace maybe the good stuff could last longer.

Weird? I think so.

I found a great book, Jazz by Toni Morrison, at the book store for $3.00. I read like the first 18 pages and was amazed at the beauty of her writing style. She writes prose like poetry, very lyrical. I was reading and thinking. I need to really work on my novel.

My delivery guy has the cutest smile an the straightest teeth. Why does this make my suspicious. lol

 

Like I Remember You

Facebook is a blessing and a curse.

Brian McKnight has a song called, I Remember You. In it he reminisces fondly about a childhood friend. There is a lyric that asks, "Do you remember me, like I remember you?"

Facebook makes me ask this very same question about a guy I went to high school with - very, very gorgeous and smart and funny and. . .gorgeous. lol

He was so sweet to me being a slightly chunky nerd of a girl and this meant a lot to me. Anyway, he would say things and do things that made me feel less awkward and pretty. He being gorgeous and all, football player and all, popular and all makes me wonder if he even remembers any of these things.

I looked at his page to see he is happily married with kids. So it would be very inappropriate to ask him this question but I still wonder. . .

. . .do you remember me, like I remember you.

Yee Haw, Rodeo

I really feel like a Texan now. I went to the rodeo yesterday. It was quite an experience. I have never totally understood the cowboy culture, being a city gal and all, but I enjoyed the event. 

Three things standout about the experience:

1. There was a prayer that actually mentioned Jesus in the opening ceremonies.
2. There was the strangling of small cattle, excuse me, steers.
3. There was the last known slave performing stale jokes and doing the chicken dance. I guess he is called the rodeo clown. lol

I, like most of the attendees, viewed the rodeo as an event, much like going to the circus. You enjoy the acrobatics but later on you think, "Wow, someone actually aspired to be a trapeze artist?"

I loved the barrel racing. I can even understand the bull racing and horse bucking (not sure if that is the actual terminology). I cannot understand the steer wrestling. I really cannot understand the children on the racing sheep.

Sheep, you ask? Take a looksee.

There was a child on that sheep but he fell off as said sheep barreled through the gate at high speed. Oh, and that's the antebellum clown.

 

That is the tiny steer right before the cowboy wrestled her to the ground and twisted the horns.

Barrel racing. I liked this portion. 
 
  

A Flower For My Hair Or. . .

NOT!!!!

So, my cute Puerto Rican comes to work finally and . . .NOTHING. lol

He shows up smiling and telling me about his trip. I am looking around and . . .NOTHING.

Not that I expected some delivery guy to carry a flower around all day in a hot truck BUT it would have been really nice if he had. #dreamer

Anyway, I gave my number to the young guy. Why? IDK, I guess he could be a cool friend or someone to hang out with.

So I guess I am still awaiting my flower. I wished for a flower once. I was walking to work, back in undergrad, and a homeless guy handed me a carnation. It was half-wilted. The guy looks at me a says, "Well, it still got life in it!" I started to laugh.

I need to get out more. lol

A Flower for My Hair

Really short post ahead. . .

So the really cute delivery man notices the flower in my hair. What does he say?

"It's cute but it's not real."

Um, are you talking about the flower or my weave?

This is the second time I've worn a flower and the second time he questioned its realness. Ugh!

What are you a deliver guy or a horticulturists? Geez.

So I say, "Well, maybe someone needs to bring me one."

And he says, " One from Puerto Rico. I am going to Puerto Rico this weekend to visit my parents."Blah, blah, blah!

He better bring me back a flower or else this crush officially ends!!! LOL

I Am Still Hoping . . .

. . that Lauryn Hill makes a comeback. That I'll lose enough weight to fit into my cute clothes I bought too small on purpose. I still hope that Girlfriends makes a comeback with all of the original cast.

Hope springs eternal.

I hope I can finish my novel. I need an ending. I am waiting on life to provide one for me. Every ending I write seems inauthentic. Should I just commit? IDK.

I am still hoping that I get hired on where I currently work. If that is not God's will, that he will allow me to get the job I am currently interviewing for.

Faith without works is dead.

I hope I get the wish I want that I am keeping to myself for now.

Keep hope alive!

Catching Up - My Audition

I did not get the part but. . .

. . .I got some great feedback and some rays of hope.

Basically, both producers loved my monologue but it was my scene with the other actors that did not go as well.

I was told that I need more confidence with my body. I rocked a bit during my scene and it distracted from my words.

That's funny because that is the same weakness I identified coming into the audition.

I was not sure where to stand. I basically studied assuming we would be on a stage during the audition. We were actually in a casting room. There was really no space to "walk in." You kind of had to just had to start speaking.

It was quite the experience. I think I would like to start a few classes this summer.

Next time I will be ready.

Catching Up - The Random and the Frightening

If I had to describe this weekend in a short phrase, I would say it was kinda awesome.

Faced a big fear, learned a lesson.

It is difficult to walk by faith when worry/anxiety has been your motif operandi. Faith is the only surety in life. Relying on my own resources would mean never accomplishing anything. Relying on God's infinite resources is leading me into things I could only see in my dreams.#lessonlearned.

I had my first real audition. YEAH!

Back when I was taking classical vocal lessons, I had the opportunity to audition for a musical and chickened out. I, once again, was looking at my circumstances and limited resources. I told myself that if I ever got a second chance, I would not let fear keep me from it.

So I happen to know somebody, who knows somebody who knows somebody, that was casting a play. I met her over a year or two ago. She kept me on her email list. I told her when we met that if she knew of any auditions, if she could keep me in mind. Fast forward a year or two I get this email. They are casting an African American actress in a play.

My own resources = no acting class in forever, no head shots, no recent experience. God's resources = infinite.

Longer story short, I studied the slides, went in and had a blast.

I read one scene and was given a monologue,asked to review it and come back. I finished my monologue and the woman said, "That was great!"

SOOOO, I hope I got it. I am still a winner though because I finally #facedmyfear.

What triumphs are you celebrating this week?