TalulaZoeApple

Navigating Friendships As A Single Woman - The Change

When women get married, they change - period. If you happen to be the single friend, you notice.

The single friend at a dinner is the pariah. Every married woman is wondering why her husband is engaging in small talk with her. She is getting the evil stare from women across the room.

Each conversation is about how busy, busy, busy they are with being a wife and/or mother or how their husband is getting in their nerves.

Um, don't care to listen.

I am exaggerating a bit but people treat you differently when they are married and you are not.

I want to tell some people I can tell when I am being fed with a long handled spoon. Don't do me any favors. I accept if your world only has room for other married people and stories about giving birth. I would rather not participate anyway. I find it rather boring.

I just find it difficult to understand why the change?

Navigating Relationships As A Single Woman - Giving Advice

Being a single woman in a world of non singles takes some tricky navigating at times. I mean, I will listen to you complain about your husband but in reality I can only offer advice from single girl's perspective.

#Problem - Your husband has many female friends with whom he is still friendly. One particular chick calls late at night always needing his advice as a "friend." You have to be the one to "check" her. You start communicating with your ex because you and he are still "friends" even after a bad break up.

#My Opinion - Your husband is receiving some type of validation from this "friendly" relationship. Why should you have to "check" her? Why is he even friends with someone who could be so disrespectful? You reaching out to your ex is not the right thing to do. You are only doing so to get back at your husband.

Me being single I can see from a different perspective. If you do not like my point of view, don't bring up the issue.

Can Men Without Fathers Become Great Spouses?

I know that some men who are raised without the influence of their fathers can learn from that abandonment and become extraordinary fathers. I was wondering on this Father's Day, can men raised without a positive father in their life become nurturing and supportive husbands?

I was watching Waiting To Exhale last night and the character Gloria did not want to let her son Tarik go study abroad because she then would be alone. For some reason this storyline struck a nerve with me. I wondered, what type of man will Tarik grow up to be? Will he become a womanizer never settling because his mom is the love of his life.

 
  

I have met men who love their kids to death but have a somewhat strained antagonistic relationship with their wife, girlfriend, and/or baby's momma. I started thinking, what makes these men reluctant to forsake all others for the woman in their life?

Why is it that Sean "P. Diddy" Combs can feel no shame about being in a nationally televised interview talking about his six kids with multiple mothers. He just said he is a good dad but never mentioned being a good mate. Why is this the publicized example?

Is it because they have never seen a man tough it out and make his family work? Is it a lack of self-discipline and commitment?

No, seriously, what is it? I am still wondering.

My How Time Flys When Your Single

I will NOT disclose my age but as a point of reference I saw Waiting To Exhale in high school. I remember thinking to myself, "God don't let me end up like these women - 30, single and desperate."

Fast forward to now, I am watching Let's Talk About Pep, I am thinking, "God' don't let me end up like these women - late 30s, single, and desperate." lol

Where has the time gone? Who told me that I had to reach my goals before finding love? Where did I learn to be so afraid to take a chance?

Ugh. Have I become one of THOSE women?

NOT YET.

I tell you if one more birthday passes in singledom, I am joining a convent.

It would be just my luck to take my vow of celibacy and then meet the man of my dreams while helping orphans in Haiti.

*sidenote* I am not a nun but I do feel I have taken a vow of celibacy. lol

Remember I wrote about making the wrong choice between two guys and I made the wrong choice. Well, the guy I did not choose has resurfaced. I am stuck wondering is this a sign or wishful thinking?

*sidenote #2* I am falling behind on my resolution to get out more. I did attend a networking event last week but that's not the same as being social. IMO

Proclamation: This is the year I fall in love!

Note to Old Married Men. . .

. . .don't nobody want you like that! LOL

There is a guy who is waay to flirty . . .and old. . .and short. . .and married. Did I mention he was old? lol

Anywho, there is another dude who is also less older, taller, married. . .and a Christian. I prefer to laugh and talk with old, tall dude because he is RESPECTFUL, never makes sexual references, and is cool. Unlike old, short dude who is ALWAYS making sexual references, complains about his wife and is sooooo immature for his age.

So old, short dude comes at me like, "Leave old, tall dude alone. He is married."

So, I am like, "WTH?"

And old, short dude is like, "I see how you are with him."

So, I'm like, "Well, dude you are TOTALLY clueless." lol

There is nothing LESS attractive than an immature man, EXCEPT, an immature OLD MAN.

I did not want to hurt his feelings but I am sooo NOT attracted to old men. I enjoy their company probably due to some latent daddy issues but. . .

 . . .I can't get jiggy with that!

Now I feel all weird around, old, tall dude. I think too myself, Am I too nice or flirty with him?  I know with guys there is little room between nice and schwing!

I don't know. What do you guys think?

**Side note** The two guys have the same first name. Coincidence?

Who Really Cares Who Reggie Bush is Dating?

Apparently, there is some outrage among black women that Reggie Bush, who is famously dating Kim Kardashian, is on the Essence cover entitled Black Men, Love and Relationship Issue. The comments are off the chain!

The problem?

These sisters are screaming bloody murder because Reggie Bush is not (at least not currently) dating a black woman.

Who really cares who Reggie Bush is dating?

• The only things I know about Reggie Bush is that he is a football player AND he is dating Kim Kardashian. PERIOD!
• I am not a football fan so I did not know who Reggie Bush was until he started dating Kim Kardashian.
• If he was not dating Kim Kardashian but was Tiger Wood'ing (pun intended) a bunch of black women would that be okay?
• Seriously, he's not even that hot.
• There was an earthqauke in Haiti that affects millions, are we really THAT concerned over a football player and his girlfriend.
• It's 2010!! Get over it!

Am I trippin' for thinkinh this is much ado about nothing?

Black Women Being Unmarried is Now National News

Thank you, ABC News! **insert sarcasm**

 

 

Steve Harvey says date older men. Ha, I wonder why?

I would consider older, like 40, ONLY if he did NOT sport the 'stache. Stevie, baby, only Magnum P.I. can get away with the 'stache!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . .

Denzel Washington

Brian J. White

Laz Alonso

Don't ever say, I have never given you anything!

Merry Christmas!

Brian J White's New Show - Men of A Certain Age

I have been seriously struggling with finding interesting writing topics for TZA - then it came to me/like an epiphany.

Brian J White sent me a shout out on TWITTER. Why am I, like,  so excited? LOL.

This past weekend I worked as a production assistant for a music video and now this. Can my life get any better? LOL.

Anywho.

Mr. White is starring in a new TV series, Men of A Certain Age, which premieres next Monday, December 7th on TNT at 9 (Central). The show also stars Ray Ramono and Andre Braugher.

I. WILL. BE. WATCHING.

Loved Brian in Mr. 3000 - his character was kinda mean. He played a bad guy in Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself. I am really curious to see his character's persona in Men of A Certain Age.

You know guys, Brian White reminds me of a guy I used to date in college. He was really cute but really down to earth and nice. It is a bit ironic that this guy competed in martial arts tournaments and Brian White starred in Fighting. EERY!!!!!

 BUT- (you know there had to be a BUT in there somewhere!) - I was in love with an idiot.

POURQUOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????????

That, of course is, another post for another day.

P.S. If you are NOT following me on Twitter, you are MISSING A LOT!!!!

http://twitter.com/Talulazoeapple

So, will you watch?

Blogging Is So Like Exercise. . .

. . .it's so hard to start back up after a long break, but it feels so good after you're done.

**WARNING**This post is filled with odds and ends.

I completed my semester. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 "A's" and a "B". One more semester people and it's a wrap.

Was at the grocery store and saw the foxiest sixty-ish year old woman alive. She had on a fur coat, mini-skirt, high- heels, and a head wrap. I wanted to yell at her, "Momma, you betta weeerrrkkk!!!!"

Where is Usher? Why isn't he singing songs? I am so sick of these new R&B guys with whiny voices and no abs!!!! LOL!

I am really feeling working out at the "real" gym. Since school is out, I am gonna try to go more than twice a week.

I was gonna do a post about the "Michaeljacksonfication" of Sammy Sosa, but every time I look at this picture, I get grossed out.

 

So is Vivica Fox dating 50 cent again? If so, why? Didn't he totally diss her on Howard Stern or something?

Anyway, what's up in your world?