TalulaZoeApple

But He Has Potential!

But He Had Potential.

   
 
When it comes to attraction to a man, what a woman  likes at 18 is different than what she likes at 30. If I could impart any aged wisdom to young women looking for a mate - look with you more mature lens. Project your future.

Maybe he is not the typical captain of the football team but captain of the chess club. Maybe his hair does lay down with baby oil but rises like steel wool but he has potential. He may be nerdy now but does he have "potential"?
 
When you are younger you go for that spark but as you mature you choose what is smart. Like Lauryn Hill said,
 
           

           "What you want might make you cry
            What you need might pass you by
            If you don't catch it,
            If you don't catch it,
            And what you need ironically
            Will turn out what you want to be
            If you just let it,
            If you just let it"

 

I love that youtube clip. I know Sherri is kicking herself about shading Hill Harper. Talk about potential.

Are There Any Nice Guys Left?

I met a woman on Sunday who said she met her husband at a singles' ministry at church. This is the second woman from that church, my church, that has told me this. The problem? The singles' ministry is not that active anymore.

Anyway. I was feeling bored and lonley this weekend so when The Kid 2.0 called to see if we could "hang out" I said cool. Afterall, we had had a discussion that I thought cleared the air and made him understand that we were clearly on friends-only territory.

Secondly, I thought what's so wrong with hanging out watching movies with a FRIEND?

*inside my own head* Why are you so naive?

So long story, less long, The Kid 2.0 comes over and everything is chill for hour number 1. I am sitting on my chair and he is on the love seat. Then The Kid 2.0 says, "Why are you so distant? You can sit by me."

Do you see where this is heading? I did but I kept thinking, self, don't jump to conclusions.

It went from me sitting next to him, to him with his hand on my thigh, to him inching his hand higher, to me pushing his hand away, to him trying to kiss me, to me stopping him and saying. "Stop, this is just too much too fast. "

He says, "I understand."

He did not. Back with the hand action. I got so frustrated, I couldn't finish watching Black Girls Rock.

I just stated that I had to get ready for my first day at work.

He got up and left.

This is the first time we actually spend one-on-time together - no date, no dinner. You have not done ANYTHING to expect any type of action. I am too old for this. I had no idea that guys still tried that high school crap. Ugh!

Are there any nice guys left?

P.S. My Gut Feeling Is ALWAYS Right

This past week has been a roller coaster of emotional ups, downs and suspension. Come Monday, I am officially in the second week of my two weeks' notice. With one end in site and a new beginning on the horizon, I   guess this was the devil's time to get busy.

For brevity I'll just focus on the guy.

So this guy that I was not interested in kept finding his way in my space every day, multiple times a day. One day he finds his courage and finally asks me out. . . well, to "hang out." Yes, he is 25 and this is the parlance of 25 year olds.

I kinda blew him off last weekend just because I am too grown for that. Plus, my gut feeling told me he was just too young. UNTIL, I tell a couple of friends who suggest that I give him a shot. Maybe he could turn out to be a good friend. One tactless friend declared that I am insane and will probably be alone forever.

So against my better judgment and Godly discernment, I tell him that I am free this Saturday evening. He agrees that he'll text me later with details. SN: I loathe texting but he is 25 years old.

So Saturday comes. I go to my housing seminar in the morning, wash, get my eyebrows waxed and. . .NOTHING. No call, no text. . nothing!

So Sunday comes and he calls around noon wanting to know what I was up to. His words, "I'm out and about and wanted to know what you had planned today." Um, something that doesn't involve you, kiddo.

So, I politely tell him that I have things to do and that I was free yesterday. He apologizes and says something about hanging out with his friends. He, then, asks what do I have to do. My response, "Some stuff." lol

Dear child, let this be a lesson to you. If you feel you are man enough to approach a grown, independent woman and ask for her time, you better make it worth something.

P.S.S. Dear friends, I'll wait on God thank you.

 

 

Ok. I Lied About Going Out

In the last post I stated that the next man that asked me out I would say yes to.

NEVER EVER, NEVER EVER, EVER say that.

I swear he next guys came up to me at work lying like we had met before and the State Fair. This line probably would have worked on a native Dallas gal because almost everyone goes to the State Fair BUT I did not.

Dude looked about forty-five and was wearing a white chef's uniform. Like, really, dude you look like Chef Boy-Ar Dee.

I work where most of the people who come are unemployed. So, his focus should have been on other things.

Plus he seemed a lil' special if you know what I mean.

I had to tell him no three times and then finally just walk away.

 

This other guys I work with is always stopping me at the most inopportune times to strike up a conversation. Last Friday, he asks if I would go workout with him out of the blue when I am racing to get to my car to beat the rush hour traffic. I'm like dude you couldn't think to ask me this earlier. So, Monday comes and I conveniently forget to bring my workout clothes and he conveniently forget that he asks me. So this Friday comes and as I am again racing out of the door he yells so Monday the power class. I am like um yeah but really um, NO!

OAN: I am completing my application to become a mentor at one of the high schools. If this job has taught me one thing, these young girls need a positive female role model who doesn't have ANY baby daddies!

Girls, really, JUST SAY NO TO  D_ _ _ _ and DRUGS! lol

Reality TV and Reality Me

I always watch the first couple of seasons of a reality show and then later on become disgusted with the show and myself for watching it. lol

Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Basketball Wives. . .need I list more?

I know the shows are staged and the most crass behavior is celebrated. I watch and marvel that my life is so much better than these clowns on TV.

Not that all reality TV is bad. I do love Four Weddings on TLC and The Ultimate Merger on TV One but it's all starting to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

It is like when I started watching wrestling again after finding out as a child that it was staged. Two reasons for this being: The Rock was fighting and the whole family got together just like old times.

SN: I am really missing my family.

The "Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?" gets kinda stale after you have heard it a million times. What exactly does that mean? How is smelling your cooking intimidating?

The point of this whole rant is: Following reality TV is kind of pathetic when there is so much real life to explore. I can admit my reality has been less than my ideal so watching Toccara pick a fake mate was a nice distraction, especially, when the menzes are fine. lol

I am telling myself ENOUGH already.

It is time to experience my own exciting dating show. The last few guys that have asked me out I have said no, never called back, or just avoided face to face contact. I am always checking my list and x-ing a guys off before even getting started. Today I am making a change. I am saying yes to the next guy that asks me out -no matter what!! Really, I am.

You will be the first to hear about it.

I Love the Ultimate Merger 2

I wrote a post once posing the question, "Why do black women go on the bachelor?" By episode two they are dunzo!

I had a hope, no a DREAM: A reality show where the brown girl was the object of so many wonderful men's desires. Like, seriously, where they do that at? lol

TV One!

The bachelorette is Toccara of America's Next Top Model fame. The men . . .OMGeebus!

But first a recap of the best of the drama:

1. A crazy dude meditates on ice, goes off and gets sent home.

2. A "pretty" boy gets scared, won't drive, goes home. Notice the quotes around pretty. Um, yeah.

3. A real pretty boy gets the first kiss with Toccara while being serenaded by Brian Mcknight. BRIAN!!!!! *swoons*

 4. A MFA fighter gets too cocky, stays.

5. The "Tom Cruise" of the bunch drinks too much but is so funny he gets to stay.

6. And there is Frank. Ahhh, FRANK. lol My fav by far.

 So, have you been watching? If not, you are missing A LOT!!!

 

Frank

Kinda tee'd I could not find a video to post or better pics. Anywho watch and see for yourself. lol

*updated*

 

 

Is Celibacy A Necessity For the Single Christian?

You all should know my view on this but for discussion's sake, I'll entertain the question.

I grew up in the holy, sanctified Church of God in Christ. Girls wore no pants, make up. We were not allowed to listen to secular music. Everyone knew that sex before marriage was a grave sin.

Times have changed in the COGIC world and christiandom at large. It's not uncommon for many women to have a little Mac in their bag next to that well-worn and highlighted King James.

But how relaxed is too lax?

I have met many Christians with varying beliefs on drinking, tithing, clothes and music. I choose not to judge either way. Are there somethings that are black or white, yes or no?

I was listening to a woman who was upset that the man she had been dating and sleeping with had gotten her and 2 other women pregnant. She expressed shock over this man who knew the Word in and out. Her shock was at the fact that he was not faithful to her.

I believe the real commitment of a celibate life is not between two individuals but between you and God.  (Thanks The Old Black Church) So if you are not faithful to God, how can you be faithful to another flawed human being?

Let that marinate, while I sip some tea.  

A Christian follows Christ, follows the words of Christ i.e. the Bible.

I think a lot of Christians find sex a hard thing to give up especially when it's so easy to give in to. Many are not taught how to live a celibate life. Sex is the ultimate don't ask, don't tell for some.

And then there are those statistics. Like churches being up to 80 percent women, 70 percent of black women never getting married. You hear that long enough and even the mose faithful can feel pressured to settle for "shacking" lol. How old is that term?  Yet, some Christians love the Lord, love the Word and a little something else. lol

What say you?

 

Church Socials Or The Dreaded Singles' Event

I recently attended a singles' event at a local church. It was designed like a "play date" event. I thought why not? I had sworn off such a events previously because they are just too weird. The first one I attended, a couple of years ago , alone. It was a party-type atmosphere at a converted club. The behavior was weird. People sat around not knowing how to act. Should you dance, mingle? What dance goes with Kirk Franklin? Just W-I-E-R-D.

 

 So I and friend stopped by a festival first grabbed a bite to eat and headed over to the church. En route my friend says, "You know the game is on tonight?" So the singles' social was planned on a night when most men will be home watching the Mavericks play.

Ominous, much?

We get there and after a few boring Uno games, we mosey over to the Outburts table. A  slightly more fun game of Outburst and all the men are chanting, "Turn On the Game!"

After the Outburst game finally ends, all of the guys in unison head for the exits.

As a single Christian, I understand the need for socials in which you can meet like-minded people for a little fun, get-ta-know-ya. I think it will help if  active singles actually plan the events. May be have it outside of the church campus?

Have any of you attended a great Christian social event? Please describe.

Build-A-Man Just like Build-A-Bear but Cheaper

I was over at Very Smart Brothas and ran across a post entitled, "Building the Perfect Woman." I won't go into the ridiculousness that men consider "perfect" on a woman. Suffice it to say, if it were left up to men, women would be a conglomeration of double d's, a big butt and a smile.

The post did get me to thinking about the perfect man. This topic is right on time considering the fact that me and my friend spent yesterday discussing our "lists". The "LIST" consists of the qualities we want in our future husbands.

So making a list and checking it twice. To make it fun, I'll use celebrities. Here we go (No particular order):

1. Intelligence like President Barack Obama.

2. Smile like Laz Alonso.

3. Eyes like Omar Epps.

4. Heart like Dr. Daniel Hale Williams.

5. Character: A man after God's own heart

6. Body like *inside my own head* lol Too many to choose from.

7. Enterprising like Michael Lee Chin



8. And swagger like DENZEL!!!!!

Build your man in the comments.

Mission: Get Out and Mingle

I have always been ahead academically and tragically remedial socially. Hey, it's a fact.

Even after last year's resolution to get out twice a month, I didn't.

Well, I have been doubling up. Last week the ballet and this week Brooklyn's Jazz Club with a friend from work. We made an oath to take Dallas by storm or go broke trying! lol

Live jazz and laughs. We even walked around and stepped into some other restaurant club and got a few honks along the way! lol

I am like more confident for some reason and I can't even tell you why. It's like the universe decided that this is my time and flipped a switched.

Watch out world! Stay tuned.