TalulaZoeApple

I Can Do Bad All By Myself - A Movie Review

I liked it. . .that is all.

LOL.

I saw ICDBABM at the Studio Movie Grill which in itself is quite an experience. Not to be a stereotype but there is something about hot wings at the movies that is conducive to conversation.

Back to movie review!

Love him or hate him Tyler Perry gets a formula and milks the heck out of it. Down trodden woman. Check. Abused children/childhood. Check. Handsome working class man to save her and religious conversion. Check and check.

The actors:

Taraji P Henson plays crazy oh so well. I can still hear her voice ringing in my ear, "Joooooodddddyyyyy!!!!!" (Baby Boy 2001)

Adam Rodriguez is the cutie from CSI Miami but this movie had me thinking, Where in the world can I get a Colombian handyman.OMG, he says this line in the movie that nearly had me in a puddle on the floor. It wasn't the actual words but his delivery that had me thinking, is this really how men speak. Really? Am I that much out of the loop, that I have forgotten.

I won't tell you what it is. See the movie first and see if it jumps out at you the way it did me.

The Music

Mary J Blige is the TRUTH! I owe Mary and apology for saying that Mary trying to hit a note is like being blindfolded aiming at a pinata. Sure she is in the vicinity but 'll be doggone if she keep missing that thing. LOL

Mary sings the title tune ICDBABM that had me wanting to give her a standing ovation.

Marvin Winans and Gladys Knight did their thing but who would expect anything different.

I do have one point of contention. It is the sore thumb that always sticks right out in a TP film that makes me wanna give up on them - the obligatory Color Purple rip off scene!

Why Tyler? Why!!! It always brings the movie to a screeching halt. But hey, his dime, his drama.

If you have seen it? What do you think? And um, where can I find a a Colombian handy man? Help a sista out.

Mashonda VS Alicia Keys

If you haven't heard, Alicia Keys is in love. . .with another woman's husband. (Allegedly)

Let me fill you in. This goofy looking producer Swizz Beats was married to Mashonda. They recently had a son together. In comes, AK playing the piano all over his heart and leaving Mashonda and baby Swizz in the cold.

Well, Mashonda did not let sleeping dogs lie. She wrote an open letter to Alicia Keys and posted it on Twitter(the extended version):

On Saturday 26th September 2009, @MashondaLoyal said: reply After having a great evening with my son and enjoying some fun twit chat, I decided to sign off and get some work done. However, a few hours later I was advised that I should check @aliciakeys twit page. I've never reached out to her on twitter before. I feel our issues are a lot more serious than a website conversation. Not to mention that I've reached out to her many times in the beginning of this whole thing, as any wife would do. Unfortunately, I never succeeded in getting a response. The 1st time I meet AK, my husband introduced us to each other at an event. ( I have no choice but to call him my husband, until he is not anymore) In the messages that I sent to her (AK), I made it very clear that on the contrary of what she might be hearing, I am still married to my husband, living with him and just had a child. Its been two years and I still have not received a response. What I do receive, is constant displays of selfishness and disconcern to me and my son

When I first heard this info, I did not want to believe it. I was just starting to like Key's music. I bought her "I Am" cd. I thought, wow, another conscious sister with pipes . . .just like. . .Lauryn Hill.

Just like Lauryn Hill, it appears Alicia Keys has "Fallin'" (pun intended) for another woman's man.

I DON'T GET IT.

On the outside these women seem to have it all - talent, beauty, success. You would think this would qualify them to get a man of their own. Why, oh why would you wanna share a guy? 'Cause you know they both were sharing him for a period of time. Guys don't always bathe regularly (or floss) so they may have been really sharing him. LOL

Karma is a female dog. We see how well it turned out for Lauryn Hill.

Rachel Brown - A Music Review

Singer Rachel Brown's team sent me a promotional CD a few weeks ago to share with my readers. I listened to it all the way through and put it aside. I listened a second time for a critique and put it aside again. I listened a third time as part of my iTunes mix to see if I liked the music. After all, I wanted to give my open honest opinion before I shared this with you guys.

1. Rachel Brown has a good, big voice.

2. The CD grooves.

3. The lyrics are honest and meaningful, I really like that.

My faves: 

#6 Spend The Night

#8 Where Did We Go Wrong

There are some points of constructive criticism I would like to make.

Like:

1. Too much voice. It's as if someone is singing with the mike too loud and the music too low. As I mentioned earlier, she has a big voice. IMO, her big voice sounds great but lacks nuance. Wow me with the subtle, sweet tones before going to the big crescendo.
2. The production is poor in some places not all. I used to intern with a burgeoning record label, I also recorded with a gospel ensemble a few years ago. The issues were similar.
3. Too many songs, not enough cohesion. Also the same problem with my other experiences mentioned above. I know what it is to get excited with something new and want to include everything on the plate. When you glob it all on, none of it is too appetizing.

I bet she kicks butt live, though.

But hey, what do I know. I will ask that you guys take a listen and drop your opinions in the comments. Thanks. Thank you to Israel Charles of  CEO Urban Music Group for sending this over.

www.rachelbrownlive.com

www.myspace.com/rachelbrownlive

Kloe Kardashian To Marry No Pre-Nup? Amber Rose Step Your Game Up

I have a soft spot in my heart for gold diggers. Why? It ain't tricking if you got it. LOL

According to headlines, Kloe Kardashian is set to marry NBA star Lamar Odom

in two weeks. I have read some not so nice comments by women who can't understand why a brother would marry a Kardashian (no-prenup) and a sister can't get a light bill paid without being labeled a gold-digger. Well, it's not all about race. Compare this to sister Kim who dated Reggie Bush for a few years without a ring on it.

Some suggested she must be doing nasty tricks for him to want to be with her. I say this is stupid logic. He is an NBA player with a 4-year 33 million dollar contract, groupies will do all kind of tricks for rent and a go-cart. LOL

I think a guy can become intrigued with someone who has personality, confidence and something going on for themselves. Or maybe it's just a publicity stunt. Whatever the reason, much love and blessings to them.

What's her secret? I don't know but it must be one heck of a trick, no pre-nup?

Next up is Amber Rose. Unfortunately she is dating Kanye West. Sure he is rich and famous but who wants to date a gay fish. BTW, I have no idea what a gay fish is but that's what they are calling him on Twitter.

Amber is famous for . . .nothing, well dating Kanye. She has reportedly inked a modeling contract out of it.

Women hate on her, too. I am not sure why. Kanye is grown and knows what's up. Amber is ..um, I'll say, enterprising. A modeling contract is not exactly, "no pre-nup" level but, hey, at least you can be self-sufficient.

Bravissimo, chicas!

My Top Ten (Irrational) Fears About Dating Men

I have written on Talulazoeapple about fears before, I think. I have also been attempting to overcome most of my (irrational) ones.

I still have left to conquer my fear of dating. It's not like I am cowering in a corner at the thought of it. I just allow my doubts to keep me from trying to connect with someone.

I could just blame all of this on my mother. Parents are easy scapegoats, but it's me.

I figured like most things in life, if I write it down, visualizing my fears I can conquer them.

Here goes:

10. Men are dogs - You have heard this one many a time. I don't think all men are dogs but most have a propensity toward canine behavior. LIL To deal, you need a trainer's license and a rabies shot.

9. Men lie - Truth be told everyone lies in a little. I may wear a padded bra . . .or not, whose asking?To date one must be willing to play a little I Spy from time to time.

8. At my age, all of the good ones are taken - I know this cannot be true, after all there are 5.7 billion people on earth. Surely there has to be one heterosexual, disease-free, educated, professional with no baby momma's or mental illnesses man with all of his teeth. Just one is all I need.

7. Marriage is passe - With Oprah leading the pack of professional women who have these "spiritual unions" (followed by Halle Berry), many are negating the importance of holy matrimony. I would just like to tell all these women, keep it real. Ya'll are way richer than your boyfriends and wanna keep that money right. LOL You ain't fooling me!

6. Every unmarried man over thirty is on the down-low - Lord why did Oprah do that show on down-low brothers. I swear, I think every guy, I mean every guy I meet has a secret. **in Wendy Williams voice** How you doin'?  Irrational? IDK. Watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta has refueled this particular one. Lord, help me to overcome. LOL

5. Once married men turn into control freaks - I know many a married man who wants to tell their wife when and where she can breathe. . .and they do it. Um. . .no. I am an easy going girl, I need an easy going guy. I will allow a man to be a man, just allow me to be. . .free.

4. I may change my mind - I know this is the craziest one but I have track record of losing interest in things and marriage is forever. Forever, ever? I had a cat once and the thing was soo smelly, I kicked it out of the house. It wandered into the parking lot and got hit by car. Can you see where I am going with this?

3. All men want is sex, sex, and more sex - This can't fly. I am a Christian that actually practices celibacy - for really, real. I always fear that a guy won't be interested in relationship where there is no nookie. I am not sure if this one is rational or irrational.

2. A man is supposed to find me - Lord, the perils of COGIC upbringing.  Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord Proverbs 18:22. This scripture was always recited as an admonishment not to look for a man. You are supposed to let a man find you. This presents quite a conundrum for the single girl.

1. I am meant to be alone - When I was a little girl, I wanted to become a nun. No, really, I did but I was not Catholic. I thought I would dedicate my life to serving God and remain a virgin for life. Well that one did not pan out. Sometimes I think God (who according to my COGIC upbringing is a jealous God) wants me for Himself. I mean, really, who can compare to the Almighty. Or maybe it's like any father, He wants only the best for me. No ordinary, jack leg (my momma's phrase) will do. Maybe I am not meant to be alone but I meant to wait on God.

WOW. . .EPIPHANY!

Love Songs

I posted this on my other blog (StuffBlackGirlsLike) and wanted to share with you guys.

Black girls like love songs.

How can you tell a truly great love song? Read the lyrics. If just reading the lyrics still makes you happy and sad simultaneously, it's great. The voice of a great vocalist is just the icing on the cake.

1. Try A Little Tenderness by Otis Redding
2. One Last Cry by Brian McKnight and I Remember You by Brian McKnight
3. Fistful of Tears by Maxwell
4. Whenever, Wherever, Whatever by Maxwell
5. I Love Me Some Him by Toni Braxton
6. Fallen by Alicia Keys
7. Her Heart by Anthony Hamilton
8. By Your Side by Sade
9. Loving You by Minnie Ripperton
10. Make Me Whole by Amel Larrieux

What are your top ten love songs?

Is RHOA Sheree Whitfield Suffering From Depression?

I always search for the logic in everything? I was a ban in the side of my math teachers in grammar school. I did not want to know just how to find the answer but what was the logic behind the equation. What can I tell you, I went to public school.

Anyhoo, back to the point og the post. I love watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta. These chicas are OTT. . .and I love it.

However, I was really disappointed in their appearance of Ellen. The ladies took what could have been a transformational moment and made complete butts of themselves. . .at least Kim and Sheree did.

A little background, Kim and Sheree had a really public fight in which Sheree tugged on Kim's wig. I guess this was Kim's way of getting back at her by telling the world she bounces checks on Ellen.

And Sheree flips the heck out! LOL

I should not laugh but if something is not true, why argue?

I could not help thinking that all of that yelling and cursing Sheree does is a symptom of her very public and humiliating divorce. I mean your famous husband stops paying your mortgage and you get evicted. You are accused of bouncing checks, your clothing line is tanking. I think I would be a tad bit angry too.

So depression, is that logical reason for such raucous behavior.

Whitney Houston - I Look To You

New video premiere:

Party Like It's 2009

I always thought that if I went to a Christian singles event, I would look, ya know, desperate. I don't know why. I just thought that way. So when I saw the singles email from The Potter's House, I thought that sounds interesting but no.

When faced with spending yet another weekend on the couch, I thought, what the hay. I shopped found a cute black dress, some multiple strand pearls and got my cute on. I was looking really cute, I might add. LOL

Anyway, I summoned up the courage to go to this event. . .ALONE.

I had a blast. There were a few other people who showed up without a table of friends. I met a few people. We ate, laughed, talked and DANCED. 

OMG. I danced my butt off. We started the electric slide, a soul train line. Now let me explain, I am rhythmically challenged and I was wearing really high heels; but I had promised myself, if I go out, I am gonna at least dance. And dance, I did. 

Like most things I am afraid of, after I do them, I am like, and what did I fear exactly?  

I promise myself, anything I wanna try, I'm gonna do it. I don't need a sidekick or partner, I'm a grown woman.

Let me get my grown woman on.

UK Woman Nearly Loses Sight Trying To Turn Brown Eyes Blue

Yes, you read the title correctly.

When Shenise Farrell read on the internet about a £5,000 operation which could turn her dark brown eyes light blue, she wasted no time in heading off to Panama.

Less than two weeks later, British surgeons were battling to save her sight.

They had to repair a hole in her iris and remove implants. It is unclear whether she will suffer long-term damage – and her eyes are still brown.

‘It was the biggest mistake I have ever made,’ said the single mother of three from Perivale, West London.

‘To think I could have never been able to see my children again. It was totally reckless of me.’SOURCE

This is sad on so many levels.

Let me first say, I don't think it is wrong to wear colored contacts, it's all about motives.

I worked with this really dark-skinned Mexican guy who wore blue contacts everyday. I thought is was the most unattractive, bizarre thing for a "heterosexual" male to do. The other people of hispanic heritage there explained how he tried very hard not to be Mexican. He would even go as far as telling the spanish-speaking customers that he did not know spanish, when clearly he knew some.

This article begs the question, what was the motivation behind such a risky act.

She could have gotten the same effect with Beauty Supply store contacts. LOL They don't even look natural. Oh well.

I am really out of words. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. . . 

What do you think?

Read this over at www.thesaudavoice.com